Expectations

My Only One,

This summer with you has been delightful! I don’t know what I expected, if anything, but it has been such a special time. What is so amazing is to see the beautiful person you have become. You always were the cutest one; now you are the most beautiful one. It has been such a gift for me to be a part of your life as you grew from a cute little 5th grader to now when you are about to leave in a few days to begin college. Am I a lucky duck or what?

I didn’t know what it was like to have a relationship with a grandmother . Both of my grandmothers died young. My dad’s mother, Ida Belle Barnes Graham , died before I was born… in fact, she died months before my dad and mom married. Grammy’s mother, Elizabeth Kremmel Buchleitner died a few days before her 52nd birthday… I was 3 years old. My memories of her are shadowy at best.

Perhaps because I did not have a grandmother with whom I had a relationship, I don’t think I had expectations of what it would be like to be a grandmother having a relationship with my granddaughter. Some people say that if you go through life without expectations you won’t get hurt. But, I have come to believe that if your expectation is that whatever happens is for your best and highest good, then whatever happens is the best!

Years ago, when you were still a toddler, I had a psychic reading during which I was told that you and I would spend a lot of time together, and have a very special relationship. At the time you were living so far from me, I never expected that could mean you and your mom would come to live with me in NJ… of all places. At the time I was living in Virginia, and I never expected to leave what I consider my heart’s home.

So I thought, “do I have any expectations of Audra?” Only this, from Lou Holtz, the legendary former coach of Notre Dame. He wrote that everyone is intuitively asking these three questions of everyone else.

1. Can I trust you?

2. Are you committed to excellence?

3. Do you care about me as a person?

My expectation is that you live your life with integrity–do what is right, do your best, and treat others the way you want to be treated. Then, I believe, that people will answer YES! to these questions when they think of you. And that, my only one, will leave you feeling good about you!

1993

2011

I love you!

Nonna

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